Water Types
by darkalbino
Summary: It didn't matter what anyone said, to Naruto, he was the best Pokemon EVER. Lulzy Drabble. Sasuke and Naruto.


**Title**: Water Types

**Rating**: T for language and general derpness

**Author**: darkalbino

LOL I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS NONSENSE? LULUL WELL HERE YOU GO |B

**Disclaimer**: no own ;3;

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**Water Types**

Naruto crouched down, dipping the tip of his finger into the lake before shaking it right back off. "Water."

"Yes, we've established that already, idiot." Sasuke threaded slim fingers through his hair and prodded his friend's hip with the tip of his sneaker. "The issue here is how we're going to get _across_ it." He nearly knocked the other boy over but Naruto grunted and managed to catch himself while shoving Sasuke's foot away. Sasuke chuckled and stuck his hands into his jacket pockets, looking back out at the water. "There has to be a ferry service around here or-"

"Psh! We don't need a boat!" Naruto sprung to his feet and whipped out a Pokéball. "I have the perfect Pokémon to get us across!"

"Oh really," Sasuke drawled. He shifted his weight on his feet, rolled his shoulders and raised an expectant brow.

"Sasuke!" Naruto hollered as the small, red and white ball broke open, a red beam of energy spearing out and taking shape against the grass.

Sasuke's palm pressed over his face_. Christ._

"Karp Karp!"

Naruto pumped a fist in the air. "Meet ULTIMATE BADASS MOTHERFUCKER!"

Sasuke peeked between his fingers, curling his lip at the Magikarp flopping pathetically on the ground. He sighed. Really, why had he expected anything different? "…You didn't name it that."

"I sure as _fuck_ named it that!" Naruto pointed at the fish. "Ultimate Badass Motherfucker, use Water Gun!"

Flop. Flop. "Karp!" Splash. Flop.

Naruto deflated a bit, casting a sheepish glance at Sasuke. "Uh…we're workin' on it."

"Naruto, you do understand that this is the most _useless Pokémon_ we currently know of?"

"Ultimate Badass Motherfucker can be better than any other Pokémon!"

"Yeah, good job," Sasuke gave an exasperated fling of his hand at the thing. "You caught the _only_ one that can herp while it derps."

Naruto bristled. "Shut up, Sasuke! Ultimate Badass Motherfucker use Give Sasuke the Finger!"

To Sasuke's bemused surprise, the fish actually started flailing around more desperately until it was facing Sasuke and managed to stick its fin straight up in the air.

"Ha!" Naruto puffed his chest out, raising his head haughtily. "Motherfucker one, Assuke ZERO!"

"Hn…" Sasuke scratched at his nose before pushing his glasses up with a shrug. "To be fair, I suppose if it can learn finger vulgarities, then it's not completely hopeless."

"Whatever, you'll see bastard!" Naruto grinned at his Pokémon. "He's gonna be the BEST!"

"Naruto…" Sasuke leaned forward a bit, raising a brow at the floundering creature. "It's starting to gasp pretty hard."

Unfortunately, Naruto's boasting was far too awesome (loud and annoying) and drowned his friend out. He crossed his arms in complete ignorance to Sasuke's mumbles. "I mean he's ORANGE, and orange never fails!"

Sasuke snorted and glanced over Naruto's orange tank top, a small smirk curving his mouth. "Too easy."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Karp –gasp- _Karp_!"

Sasuke elbowed his friend, earning a half-glare completely ruined by a small pout. He chuckled, hands slipping back into his jacket. "And what about when it evolves?"

Naruto grinned at him and sidled closer, so their sides brushed. "So you're saying I've got enough skill to train it to evolution?"

"Tch," onyx eyes trailed to their corners, fixing the blond trainer with a 'I'm-not-gracing-that-with-an-answer' look.

Naruto laughed, knowing the other boy well enough to understand that that was as close to a "yes, dumbass" as he was going to get. "What about it?" He placed his fists on his hips triumphantly. "Then it'll be Mega Super Ultra Ultimate Badass Mo-"

"Gyarados is blue, Naruto."

"..Oh yeah…" Naruto stared at his Pokémon, then smiled and flicked his nose with his thumb. "Doesn't sound like somethin' a paint job can't fix."

**derp**

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SOOOO... I'm totally going to write this EPIC crossover fic with the Naruto characters and Pokemon :I /heart

It's still in outlining stages, as it's ridiculously long/detailed since I'm basically basing the whole fic on one of the Pokemon games ._. but I plan to also write little humorous side drabbles like this to along with it |D

SASUKE TOTALLY WOULD SAY HERP DERP IF HE GREW UP IN A WORLD WITHOUT A FAMILY MASSACRE SO STFU :V

|DD /glees

~dark


End file.
